#8 - How ‘people-pleasing’ is holding your agency back from being more successful...
Global Coaching Perfomance Director
I used to be a people-pleaser.
This was a behavior that was hurting the success of my clients, the success of my team, and ultimately the success of the business.
I was holding everyone back, including myself.
I needed to change the type of relationship I had with my clients.
They were in control. They were calling the shots.
The truth is, even though they never explicitly said it, my clients knew that they weren't getting what they needed.
They didn’t want a passive order taker, they wanted to be challenged.
I know agencies struggle with this. For me, this is what it looked like:
- I said yes to requests I knew we couldn't do, or couldn't do well
- I said yes to projects that I knew would fail (or I made myself sick trying to make them work!)
- I let clients make mistakes and bad decisions that would hurt them in the short and long term
- I said yes to bad fit clients and their bad behavior
I felt like I couldn't say no to the clients.
We have to ask ourselves: What negative impact is this having on our people, our client results, the growth of our agency?
It’s time to step up and challenge our clients. Make it clear that we’re willing to walk away if we don’t think true success is possible.
Now, years later, I've turned my past weakness into a strength that helps my clients:
- I ask the difficult questions others struggle with
- I call out the mistakes they are making
- I'm not afraid to say no
The result? Our clients step up and prove to us what they are capable of. They become better, more successful clients.
I’m not saying it’s easy to do, but it’s for the best. For everyone involved.
Questions to get you thinking:
- Where do you need to be more firm with your clients?
- In what ways do you let your clients detrimentally dictate the work?
- What do you need to do to be better at saying no?
As always, I'm looking forward to you sharing your thoughts in the comments 👇🏻
PS. This is exactly what I coach people like you to master. I’ve got spaces opening up for my program starting in January. Find out more here.
Hey y'all, Did you read my letter this week? TL;DR: To be happier at work we need to craft our work so we spend the majority of our time on work the leverages our core strengths. The questions are: Firstly, are you crystal clear on what your strengths are? If not, you should do that first. Initially, I recommend taking the StrengthsFinder 2.0 and the Authentic Happiness test (my results below). Secondly, are you continually assessing and aligning your work with those strengths (recrafting your work)? As with all of these types of assessments, it’s good to verify the results, and Seligman provides a set of helpful criteria to confirm if these truly are your ‘signature strengths’: A sense of ownership and authenticity ("This is the real me") A feeling of excitement while displaying it, especially at first A rapid learning curve as the strength is first practiced Continuous learning of new ways to enact your strength A sense of yearning to find ways to use it A feeling of inevitability in using the strength ("Try and stop me") Invigoration rather than exhaustion while using the strength The creation and pursuit of personal projects that revolve around it Joy, zest, enthusiasm, even ecstasy while using it. Seligman writes:"If one or more of these apply to your top strengths, they are signature strengths. Use them as frequently as you can and in as many settings. If none of the signature criteria apply to one or two of your strengths, they may not be aptitudes you want to deploy…”What I've learned about myself is that I get frustrated when I don’t have time to do what fills me up: reading and researching, going deep into new topics, joining up what I’m learning, writing and developing my own ideas, and then teaching what I’m learning to a group of people that truly want to learn. And so, when we’re unhappy at work, instead of thinking we need to find a new job, the first best thing to do is to consider our strengths, look at the work we’re doing, and ask ourselves: How do I feel when I don’t get enough time at work to apply my strengths to the work I’m doing? As a percentage, how much of my time is spent putting my strengths to work in a valuable way? What’s one thing I can do to ‘recraft’ my work so I can increase the percentage of time spent putting my strengths to work? Naturally, over time, things will slip and you’ll find yourself continually checking in on your work and what you are spending your time doing, making sure it’s aligned as much as reasonably possible with your strengths. You have more control over this than you perhaps think you do, and I encourage you to take total ownership and responsibility for this and get active in your own pursuit of happiness at work. Don’t expect anyone to do it for you: Do the assessments and get to know yourself better Recraft your work to suit your strengths Continually check in and come back to these questions Take ownership of what you are spending your time doing at work And if you are a manager of people, know this: people will stay longer if their strengths are recognized and used in a valuable way.Marr's StrengthsFinder 2.0 Strengths Learner Intellection Relator Input Connectedness Marr's Authentic Happiness Strengths: Your Top Strength - Love of learningYou love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere there is an opportunity to learn. Your Second Strength- Modesty and humilityYou do not seek the spotlight, preferring to let your accomplishments speak for themselves. You do not regard yourself as special, and others recognize and value your modesty. Strength #3 - Perspective wisdomAlthough you may not think of yourself as wise, your friends hold this view of you. They value your perspective on matters and turn to you for advice. You have a way of looking at the world that makes sense to others and to yourself. Strength #4 - Curiosity and interest in the worldYou are curious about everything. You are always asking questions, and you find all subjects and topics fascinating. You like exploration and discovery. Strength #5 - Creativity, ingenuity, and originalityThinking of new ways to do things is a crucial part of who you are. You are never content with doing something the conventional way if a better way is possible. I'd love to get to know you better - what are your core strengths and how are you leveraging them at work? DFTBA!Chris.
Hey folks :) What’s the single biggest fear or concern you have about the future of your career, and what are you working on right now that’s helping solve for that?As always, I'm keen to hear what you're working on to advance and build your career. Jump into the comments with what's front of mind for you :) Chris.
The 10X rule by Grant Cardone. It really made me realise that to make an impact doing anything, you need to do it a lot more times than you think. In fact, 10 x's more.
Hey coaches! Let’s talk about how we’re growing, and if there’s something we need to change in our life to feel like we’re growing: Do you feel like you are being challenged in your work right now? Do you feel like you are growing? What’s something you could do that really challenges you? I'd love to hear from you in the comments :)Chris.
Chris Marr thanks very much! I did add my super old work history elements just to make it easy for folks since they're doing me a favor.
Winnie Anderson Love this! Thanks for sharing, Winnie!